are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
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