i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
