saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.