And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
