The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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