Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
