yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
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You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
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My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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