to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
50% drunk capacity currently
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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