two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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