I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.