my sisters under your porch take her home
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors