i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So much rum. So many feels.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?