Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?