Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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