We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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