Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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