Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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