went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
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He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
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But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?