Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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