Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
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Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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