just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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