If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
