dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
