I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
