He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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