I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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