Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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