I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
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As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
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And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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