Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
