I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
