Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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