suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
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There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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