New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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