the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
