It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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