You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
