remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
