She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
