just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
