There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
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Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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