why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
