is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
