i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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