Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
