I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
