that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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