Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
