You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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