Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
