Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
