no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I licked your asshole in confidence.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
