If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
