If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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