Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
