well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
