she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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