I want to walk on stilts...naked
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize