I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
