yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
