After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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